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Hwt in 5 College Movies

College films are replete with hwt. It is no surprise that college movies are popular, especially to college students. Between chugging beer and cramming for finals, college students indulge in every aspect of hwt, from the fraternal hwt to hwting at sporting events. You don’t have to look far to find the hwt.

5. Good Will Hunting
(Original Title: Chuckie Sullivan gets Hwt)

In a story as old as time itself, boy cleans school, boy solves complex equations, boy meets girl, boy screws over his friends…and oh, by the way, there’s a college in it. The protagonist, Will Hunting and played by Matt Damon, works as a college janitor before his hybris (hubris) ruins his life. First, he adds calculus to campus graffiti. Then, he seduces a neighboring coed, Skylar. He later commits assault, which should have put him on the path to redemption as he is required to go to therapy. However, Sean Maguire, played by Robin Williams, refuses to let Hunting live his life. Instead, Maguire convinces Hunting to run off with Skylar and turn his back on his friends–Chuckie Sullivan never recovers.

Most Famous Quotes:

  1. Will: “How do you like them apples?”
  2. Skylar: “What if I said I wouldn’t have sex with you again ’til I got to meet your friends; what would you say?”
    Will: “I’d say it’s 4:30 in the morning; they’re probably up.”

Moral of the Story: Friends will betray friends when hwt is involved.

4. Rudy
(Originally Title: Aaron Blalock’s Scholarship for Hwt)

This story follows the emergence of a dream for a poor, pint-sized, non-athlete named Daniel Ruetteger, nicknamed Rudy as he overcomes all expectations to play football for Notre Dame. Absent from the entire story is the incredible college journey for Aaron Blalock, who was a top football player for his high school. Unfortunately for Aaron, Rudy’s acceptance to the Notre Dame practice squad reduced the number of open slots and availability for scholarships. Aaron is currently a part-time assistant manager for a Carl’s Junior.

Most Famous Quote:

Fortune: “You’re 5 foot nothin’, 100 and nothin’, and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years.”

Moral of the Story: Hard work and a steadfast refusal to accept reality can impair judgement and prevent those who are better suited and more qualified from earning what they deserve.

3. Back to School
(Originally Title: Hwts Gone Wild)

In this classic tale, Rodney Dangerfield plays the millionaire father who, facing a divorce, decides to go to college with his son. What this movie lacks in subtlety, it makes up for in spectacle. Essentially, money and chutzpah can only take you so far, and Dangerfield’s audacity is best exmplified when he hires Kurt Vonnegut to write his book report on Vonnegut–for which Vonnegut’s report on Vonnegut fails.

Most Famous Quotes:

  1. Diane: How would you characterize “The Great Gatsby”?
    Thornton Melon: He was… uh… great!
  2. Derek: [explaining his “anti-pep rally”] Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.

Moral of the Story: With great hwt comes great hilarity!

2. Revenge of the Nerds
(Original Title: Tri Lambdas Steal the Hwt)

A Greek tragedy. Simply stated, this tale depicts the fall of hwt from the proud legions of athletic and pretty people into the hands of the hwt challenged. In fact, the nerds use technicality and laughable ploys to distract the audience from their monstrous and obnoxious behavior. Despite obvious clerical errors, the Tri Lambdas won the Greek carnival, which somehow entitles them to jock domination in the Greek system.

Everyone knows that nerds and hwt don’t mix!

While the Greek council is still appealing the actions of a few undesirables, jocks everywhere struggle to find a home on college campuses free from nerd-kind. Someday, the jocks will have their day in the sun… and the hwt will return!

Most Famous Quote:

“NERDS!”

Moral of the Story: NERDS!

1. Animal Hwt, later titled Animal House

Many people experimented with hwt in the 60s. This movie presents a delightful jaunt into the last semester of Delta Tau Pi and their overindulgence into hwt. Watch Bluto, Flounder, D-Day, and others as they hwt up Farber College.

Animal House is less movie and more documentary about Hwt, Hwt’s influence on college and culture in the 60’s, and why Hwt is no longer openly tolerated in higher education.

Most Famous Quotes:

  1. D-Day: [to Bluto] Let it go. War’s over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
    Bluto: What? Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
    Otter: [to Boon] Germans?
    Boon: Forget it, he’s rolling.
    Bluto: And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough…
  2. Flounder: May I have ten thousand marbles, please?
  3. Neidermeyer: You’re all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!

Moral of the Story: Some hwt equals a good time. Too much hwt means trouble!

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