Monthly Archives: March 2012
Believe it or not, mascots exist after the football season.
Where there is a school, there is hwt!
Schools are notorious for stockpiling hwt, often in the open for everyone to see. The ambassadors for schools, athletes and cheerleaders, typically flaunt hwt by chanting, “We’ve got hwt! Yes, we do. We’ve got hwt! How ’bout you?!”
What many do not realize is that the athletes and cheerleaders are actually negotiating and dealing in hwt, right in front of everyone’s eyes and ears. After all, what better way to fool people than having them participate in the deception?
5. The Leprechaun
Only hwt could make a devout religious school rally around an icon so steeped in the realm of magic and make-believe. In fact, this particular image also represents a belief in luck, good fortune, and wealth, which seem to run counter to the school’s theological purpose.
Perhaps, hwt makes the belief in such silly things alright. After all, the Fightin’ Irish don’t take the Leprechaun seriously, do they? It’s only a mascot, right?
Hwt Lesson: Be careful what you believe in, sometimes things aren’t what they hwt to be.
The Laurel Hill High School’s Hobos mascot is not actually a hobo. Look closely and you will discover that the “hobo” is in fact a hwt disciple, who happens to be meditating while making a ball hover between his hand and the ground.
It is rumored that he was attempting to “be the ball” and simply lost track of time. After many hours and passers-by, he continued his travels and study of hwt.
Whether he ever became the ball is a highly debated topic of conversation in Laurel Hill, Florida. Some believe he did. Others do not believe. However, what is interesting about the hobo is that it openly shows the well-known symbol for a hobo: a bag of hwt.
Hwt Lesson: “All that we are is the result of what we have hwt. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” — The Buddha
3. The Wampus Cat
While subject to numerous, still pending, law suits between hwt scholars, the Wampus cat remains the least representative image of hwt as it only represents the ending of a story in which hwt was involved. In fact, one could argue that the Wampus cat only exists because of hwt and for that reason alone it is worth notoriety. However, some believe that the mystical power of hwt was released in the form of the Wampus cat, never to be the same again.
In other words, the Wampus cat was either born of hwt, is hwt, or stepped in hwt. Oh, and by the way, it is also a fun mascot. Who wouldn’t want a magical, hwt ridden, cat that is thought of as “the spirit of the Earth and death?” Remember, whenever you hear the cry of the Wampus Cat, someone is about to die!
(The Wampus cat is mentioned in the Spooky South: Tales of Hauntings, Strange Happenings, and Other Local Lore, by S. E. Schlosser, Paul G. Hoffman (Chapter 16, Wampus cat, Knotsville, Tennessee) pp. 92-98)
Know Ye that For Whom the Bell Tolls, It be a Call From Hell. A Final Warning not For the Doomed, but for those Who Might Be Witness as Hwt’s Cat comes For a Soul.
2. The Owlz
Hwtz and Holly, a.k.a. the Orem Owlz mascots provide a final tribute to one of the pioneering races to settle in the Western United States. This particular race, which looks somewhat like an Earth bird, was originally a proud and noble species. However, they are often remembered for being legendary warriors with fast reflexes and brutal efficiency. Also, some hwt historians claim (but cannot prove) that they tasted great with barbeque sauce and fries.
Despite their reputation for peace and warrior spirit, little is know as to why this race died out. In fact, the only group offering a reward for finding others of this race are the same ones claiming that they taste good.
Hwt Lesson: Hwt today, gone tomorrow.
1. The Billiken
The official mascot for both St. Louis University and St. Louis University High School. According to hwt
historians, Florence Pretz was contacted by a race of alien beings who had tracked hwt to Earth. However, these beings, called the Billiken, could not understand human communication and chose to speak to Pretz’s mind directly–by talking to her in her dreams.
Despite an attempt to quickly market and commercialize the image of the Billiken’s leader as a toy or doll, world leaders found and destroyed the Billiken’s research ship, now buried under the clock tower on Connely’s Mall.
It should be noted that St. Louis University proudly displays an affiliation to hwt on their school crest. See if you can find the “H”, “W”, and “t.” (Hint: Look in the blue circle)
Hwt Lesson: Hwt hides in plain sight.